Teacher World

Slowly I opened my decorated Thanksgiving door and walked inside. Exactly 12 weeks had gone by in a flash and I didn't feel ready for this moment. While my bag was empty, but certainly not for long, I knew it would be overwhelming and wonderful. On the floor was Kleenex, broken, chewed pencils, and candy wrappers. This signified that Flu season was upon them and they were being rewarded. The smell hit me the hardest. Cat peed and sweat. I'm sorry to ruin your appetite. A combination of a feline loving home and hard work. My expectations were set too high. I wanted my desk to look exactly how I left it. I was dreaming. Papers, papers, and more grades papers attacked my eyes. Sticky notes dated a month back and left over work for me to figure out. 

Obviously I chose to come back to work in order to save my sanity for one and because my insurance is superb. We built a new house almost a year from today and I'm thankful for that luxury we can keep. Teaching is in my blood. My grandmother holds the teaching gene and now my mother has started teaching. I love my job in it's entirety. 

I cleared a path to see the mouse and also pushed the power button; let the games begin. I turned on my Promethean board, wrote the unplanned objectives on the laminated chevron papers on my bulletin board. 

"Today I will survive," I encouraged myself. Many coworkers had found the right sentence to say to me that morning. I was feeling I could accomplish this small task of getting through my first day of school back from maternity leave. 

My son has the best babysitter in the world and I wasn't worried about him at all. The only thing I was trying to figure out was if I could pump fast during my planning time. At home pumping took me forever and I was a little worried my system would be rocky, but I made it. 20 minutes and I was cleaned up, milked out, and hungry. 

Hour by hour I thought more about how I wanted to stay home with my perfect Cohen. He was probably sleeping and dreaming of our snuggle time as I taught my students procedures again and again. They couldn't remember how we sat down and raise our hand if we had a question. I was swarmed with hugs and little voices asking me how Cohen was. 

Lunchtime. I drove fast and furious to the babysitters who was 7 minutes from my school. I stuffed a sandwich in my face on my way to feed my little bug. He was having a great day. No fussing. Thank you Jesus. This was more reassurance that I COULD do this.

At the end of our 4th grade day I sat in my chair for the first time. Yes. I maybe dozed off for 30 seconds. My coworker waltzed in with copies in her hand, reminding me of what I needed to do and immediately made me exhausted    thinking about how much work I was going to put off until I had a breather. She was also motivation I could do this. See we are besties. She understands me and I understand that she can't teach without me. HoLLa back if you have one too. Three years strong. 

These small reminders are light in the darkness for me. I tend to expect to much and then left disappointed each time. Isn't that what we humans do? 

Cast your cares. Lay aside worrisome thoughts. Give some time. 

That my dears is the way to let God work where you already tried.

~NM